It’s universally acknowledged that sometimes, after a few drinks, the men in our lives can struggle to get hard.

It’s no big deal, we know it happens to the best of ya, besides no doubt we’re gonna get woken up the next morning by your new found hard on digging into our back.

But how does alcohol affect the rest of us down there? And why do we never talk about it??


So here’s the drill, you’re at the bar, one drink turns into ten and next thing you know you’re throwing the boy with the pretty eyes and moderate chat onto your squeaky student mattress.

After a good 10 minutes of less than inspiring foreplay you realise you’re as dry as the Sahara desert down there and the boy who seemed like a solid 10 earlier on is becoming less and less appealing as he rams his fingers in and out of your now sandpaper-esque vagina.

You’re left staring up at the ceiling wondering A.) When he’s eventually gonna give up and B.) how much of a better time you’d be having right now if only you’d have left the poor boy at the bar where you found him and were instead sharing a bed with a 10-inch cheesy pizza tonight.

A guy failing to get a hard on because of booze is hardly a hushed topic.

But when it comes to females struggling for a similar reason, the topic is suddenly silenced.

Women are hyper sexualised to the point where we’re expected to be able to hop on it and go at any given time because OBVIOUSLY that’s what we’re here for, sex on tap right?


Much like our counterparts with penises sometimes it just ain’t gonna happen and no amount of vapid fingering is gonna change that.

Not being able to perform when drunk isn’t anything for either party to be embarrassed about.

Sometimes the best thing to do is admit it isn’t gonna happen, roll over and get some sleep.

Besides, isn’t that what morning sex is for?

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