“It all started on Instagram when I received a message from a man saying, ‘Hi, I’m a 40-year-old, caring experienced, dominant looking for a submissive’. “I wasn’t going to reply but curiosity got the better of me. I sent him a message back and from there things moved pretty quickly”, said Eleanor, 22, university student.

“I didn’t have a whole lot of experience being a submissive. We spoke for weeks getting to know each other’s sexual desires and kinks. We also found out that we shared a fantasy for sadism and masochism, which is inflicting and receiving pain for sexual pleasure”.

Eleanor’s dominant, Mark, was over 6ft, with a slim, athletic build. He was slightly tanned with short dark hair, clean shaven and always in a suit.

“The very first day we met at the hotel, I thought he was attractive”, said Eleanor. “He bought me a pair of cuffs, and we had a lot of sex. In terms of sadism and masochism it was kind of a bit more low-key. There wasn’t a lot of that, it was just rough, but it was good. I enjoyed it.”

After their first successful meeting, the pair arranged to see each other every 4 to 6 weeks. Mark would book the most extravagant and plush hotels in central London – all expenses paid. Which for a student, living on the minimum loan and poorly paid job, was a very welcomed escape.

And each time they met was not like the last. Eleanor and Mark kept things exciting by trying out new ways to please each other.

“Mark would bring a small grey suitcase and in it were our play things – ropes, paddles, canes, tape, nipple clamps, spreader bars, ball gags and all things BDSM”, said Eleanor.

“Because he was the dominant and I was the submissive it was up to him what he did. We created a safe word, which was ‘RED’, so if it ever got too much, I would just have to say the word and it would be over”.

But the pair’s sexual exploration didn’t stop there. They took things a step further when Eleanor’s dominant arranged for them to visit a private sex party.

“One day he asked me if I enjoyed exhibitionism, which is being watched or watching others” said Eleanor. “I said I was open to exploring it, so he found a party going on at this mansion.

“He made it a big deal and was very on top of party etiquette. He bought me a really fancy dress and heels and wanted me to look posh and sophisticated, even though what we were doing wasn’t that posh.”

As Eleanor and Mark arrived at the mansion party, they were greeted by the host who gave them a special tour. The front doors opened to an extravagant foyer area, which led to different rooms. On the right was a lounge filled with sofas and on the wall a giant flat screen TV was playing porn. To the left was a bedroom with mirrored walls, cleverly positioned to reflect the porn playing from the lounge. Downstairs Eleanor and Mark were shown to a dungeon room. It was dark and in it was a cross used to tie up submissive’s, along with a cage and other forms of apparatus.

“The people at the party were dressed in all kinds of kink clothing”, said Eleanor. “An older man was walking around in a PVC priest outfit, there were men dressed in women’s lingerie and women walking around with strap-ons.

“At first, we just explored and had a couple of drinks, but then he asked if I wanted to go to the mirrored bedroom. He made sure that I was okay with it and that told me that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to do, but I was pretty up for it.

“We started kissing and getting jiggy and I remember looking up and realising there were people in the room watching us. Eventually another couple next to us started to get jiggy too.”

“The girl of the couple next to us asked my dominant if she could spank me and I said yes.

“I was definitely enjoying it, there wasn’t a safe word in my head at all. I just couldn’t believe I was being spanked in front of a fucking massive group of people.”

To avoid getting too attached, Eleanor and Mark decided to keep their personal lives separate. But it wasn’t just their sexual desires that fuelled this relationship, this unlikely pair shared some kind of connection.

“We enjoyed who we were as people”, said Eleanor. “It wasn’t just about the sex. He is a super kind person, so caring and always wanted to make sure I was okay emotionally.

“Every single time we would see each other he would bring me gifts, like books, jewellery, lingerie, and things he knew I liked.

“It was a very open space, because of the sexual relationship we were having with each other. But he wasn’t my sugar daddy, he was my dominant, but just so happened to be a very well-off one that would spoil me.

“He never paid me for sex, the money that was provided was to spend on hotel rooms, dinner, lingerie, toys and events that we could both enjoy.”

Eleanor and Mark carried on their dominant, submissive relationship for two years, until very recently when Eleanor met her now boyfriend and called it all off.

“It was sad ending it, I could see that he was upset. There is obviously some form of attachment. The dynamic is just very different because of his age and my age and our different lives. I can’t explain it. It’s not love, but it’s not friendship either. There is a respect and we care about each other.”


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