A female-centred sex party sounds like something from a Utopian futuristic film. But it’s not, and they are happening closer than you think… Meet Emma Sayle, founder and CEO of Killing Kittens and leader in female sexual liberation and empowerment.
In 2005, Emma Sayle thought that there was nowhere women could go to feel in control and explore their sexuality in a safe environment, so she created Killing Kittens. She wanted to create a brand that stood for women and want they wanted.
Greater awareness of female sexuality and sexual freedom was slowly becoming more socially and commercially acceptable. She knew that to empower women sexually, it had to be with a business that put them first.
“I created the concept when I realised that there was nowhere for women to go to feel in control and empowered to explore their sexuality without being judged. I witnessed a very male-dominated adult industry offering nowhere for women to go to explore their sexuality and feel in control within a safe environment – I felt passionately that something had to change”, she said.
If you haven’t heard of it, Killing Kittens calls its events the world’s most “exclusive, decadent and hedonistic”. So, what exactly is involved?
Sign up to be a member and you will be vetted before being asked to create a profile on the site. Couples and singles can attend, once they get through the application process, but there are very strict rules. Like, men can’t approach women.
Girls are in control and must make the first move. “It is a women first environment – always. Killing Kittens supports the pursuit of female pleasure, no matter sexual orientation, for those in control, who know what they want. All our parties are female led, putting them firmly in control, at every stage”, Emma said.
Attendees can expect an amazing, open-minded, diverse mix of people who are very welcoming. There is no expectation to have to get naked, guests do whatever they’re comfortable with. They’ll walk into a friendly but sexually charged atmosphere masked drinks reception and then the party just flows from there.
Charly, a 26 year-old nanny and member of KK, said, “I mentioned to a friend that I was looking for more female centred parties and she recommended KK. What I loved about KK was the fact that the women were in charge and I found this very comforting especially as I was attending as a single female.
I bought a ticket for an all-female party and the first time I went I attended alone. I was a bit nervous to start with but I met up with some of the other girls beforehand. The girls were all super friendly, chatty and welcoming which helped put me very much at ease and I also met a very gorgeous girl who had previously attended KK and offered to take me under her wing. After a bit of Dutch courage, we got a taxi together with two other equally beautiful girls and headed off to the party. It wasn’t scary and I had no need to be nervous!”
Another member, Katie, a Wellness Coach from London, said “Judgment and criticism often comes from a place of lack of understanding, that’s ok, but perhaps before one is to criticise, they could go and experience for themselves and then form an opinion. I have never been to one of the parties and ‘got involved’, it doesn’t float my boat however, it is crucial for me on both a personal and professional level to understand and appreciate firstly, what makes different people ‘tick’, feel empowered and sexy and secondly to broaden my understanding and perspective on both sex and female empowerment. For me, this is vital in order for me to operate from an authentic and educated place.
I feel strongly that Killing Kittens is all about empowering women, that is it! Onlookers often get very wrapped up in the ‘sex’ and struggle to notice the key message and what the brand/parties are about. Most of the women I have met through the KK family have a story to tell – a powerful story! When these stories are shared, they can help to inspire and perhaps to heal others from their story or journey. All of this is shared in a safe environment, focused around women, so you tend to find that people are more comfortable being open and letting their vulnerability show than many other settings.”
Despite empowering thousands of women like Charly and Katie across the world, Emma thinks that there is still a huge amount of bias and misconceptions to address. “It is true, sadly, that sexual discrimination is still alive and kicking in many sectors, across all levels, and many women struggle to be treated with the respect they deserve. Sadly, it is still shunned upon compared to the way men are treated and speak about their sex lives”, she said.
However, she has noticed a positive change in the 13 years since she founded Killing Kittens. “Women are much more open about their sexuality than in the past, they can talk much more freely about their sex lives and the whole female equality movement means women are much more independent on all levels. In turn, this has meant that increased numbers of women are in to experiencing new sexual experiences openly and without judgement. We still have a long way to go but the good thing is it is getting there, and the more open women are and not afraid to own their sexuality then the faster society will get that sexual equality”, she said.